For some reason, I'm still not smiling?

I feel potential with this, but I don't see much diversity in the directions its going. I think you need to switch it up a little more instead of reusing the same exact loops over and over. It has a nice feel to it at some points, but it drags them onto long and burns them out. I recommend just diversifying it a little more, but it does have some unique grooves to it! Keep making good work!

Sausauge links can be equally pleasing...

The only reason this didn't get a 5 is that its just little to cute for that number... But anyways, you should spruce this up with better midi patches, and add some percussion, as this sounds like a demo from a cheap Casio keyboard that'd you'd get at Toy"R"Us... anyways, cool melody though, it definitely has potential... :) ps: Drink beer, Its good for you!

The mixing in this is finer than olive tapenade...

Wow, the guitar tones are absolutely perfect for every aspect of it, sparkling, shimmering and bright yet warm... the song is performed perfect as well man, nice solo too I really liked that! Also, another positive is how nicely mixed it is, everything is very audible, and you can hear every instrument. The only thing that would stop me from givin' ya a 10 would be the weak sound of the fruity loops drum samples... try getting something from toon track, I've found their products really superb! Other than that, theres really nothing flawed about this at all.. The slow whammy dive at the end could use a little more layering or maybe the synth could follow a pitch drop with a minor third harmony of the ending chord... to make it alittle thicker, but it does work on its own nonetheless. Great job!